I met my oldest sister as I debarked from my flight from Ft. Benjamin Harrison in Indiana where I just had some specialized training.  She said Mom was in the hospital after she attempted to take her life.  The thought of the last child leaving home was too much for her.  Fortunately for me as I left for my new assignment overseas the strongest person I had ever known in the world never attempted it again, but that nagging worry as I landed thousands of miles away didn’t help my peace of mind.

Fast forward almost fifty years, and it’s like an epidemic with no immunization available.  In one month recently three star female college athletes all took their own lives.  Locally in a week one young man succumbed to the effects of a suicide attempt years earlier, another was left in yet to be determined condition, while a third successfully completed the task.

Nationally women succeed in taking their lives about a third of the time.  Pills and razor blades tend to be their likely choice.  Men tend to use guns which explain why they have a higher fatality rate from their attempts.

Suicide is a very selfish action.  In two of the three cases listed above loved ones were or have been left to help foot the financial bills and be caregivers to those who failed on their attempt and created a bigger mess.  What is driving this insanity?  These victims often appear to have the world by the tail, excelling in different avenues of their lives.

We look at their lives and see infinite potential; they look into some dark abyss and find no hope.  No hope.  Hopeless.  How can it be as you imagine the awesome lives they could have had.  What pain could hurt so deep so as to say to a spouse, “I’d rather die than to stay and fight through this with you.”  Talk about a blow to your self-esteem.  I’ve seen attractive, successful spouses never again find the confidence or assurance needed to invest in another love.  Such unspeakable consequences that the person committing the deed would never have wanted or even considered as they tried to find a way out of the real or imaginary mess.  In their minds there was no other way.  Had we been there maybe we could have helped them see a way out, maybe not.

The leftbehinders are left to sort things out often carrying a whole new load of unimaginable guilt.  How did I miss the signs?  Why didn’t I get help sooner?  Guilt and remorse can literally drive you crazy.  A selfish act by one person creates a broken heart for another.  These scars don’t heal.  Hopelessness exacts a toll some cannot pay alone.  

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